p001I've got a tissue So Yeah Was that? Surprisingly, Think I've spoken to some of her friends. That she was worri…
I've got a tissue So Yeah Was that? Surprisingly, Think I've spoken to some of her friends. That she was worried that there was something wrong. She must have known that Whether she thought she had possibly dementia or not, I don't know. Uh, But I thought she had no idea where I Spoke to a doctor From Get Early. Uh Wow. We work for the first 5 years in terms of helping holding. You leave it for a few years. It's got she's So I took her to a doctor. They did the uh standard sort of test on it. You have a I. Then they took her, she got sent to the Longley clinic at down in general. Fairly quickly For an assessment I think nowadays, Ryan gather, it's not as easy. To get Here's what I've got. She went, uh, and I sat with her and. tests Yeah But I, I had hoped that she'd got mild cognitive. I think to be honest, I didn't, I couldn't imagine. of So What we Now how he could have done this, I don't know. Yeah it's quite the Sheet of the results on Ques. Certain assessment She's doing reasonably well, you know, so. the And I was actually thinking to myself, Bullet Got the last two questions Diagnosis of Alzheimer just Bull from the blue, you know, wasn't it bought from the blue. It was a bit brutal in the sense that Harry T was the girls outside of. You'll have to work on your career, but it was, it What did we do? They gave me a great big plaque. Oh leaflets and books and venture Window. I took her to the Millhouse's car because I knew she liked. s s And uh sorry about that I I Uh, It's just so difficult talking these times. I decided this Fuck of stuff. Really she was Just got to crack on the line. That's what we did Shot all that stuff Get involved in Alzheimer's Societies. We just, I just Tough thing one of the tough things to do is she loves she loved driving. So Not what I was talking about A portrait of X5 sports car. gramme, fuck this. He was involved T. Oh. She got at And she was driving an automatic. She for quite a long I never ended my head that she She'd lost out her job And I didn't show her how. showed her how to drive a manual and she didn't get it. lose So I drove around the road and I said, so we had a good, good year with it. And then, uh, Right a little place healthy Look at that. see. I reckon I have about another year I wish I could take her. Proportion Most probably she went about a year after, after sure Uh-huh Get out She was starting to get frightened of water, she was terrified of water, so showered away. Uh, so most of the year or 18 months or so, Shatter went in to give me. 3 weeks to give me a bit of respite to be honest. She settled, so well, Uh The alternative was for carers coming in, sort of Trouble with that is Selfish You become trapped as well. Because she comes out, you can't go. Because Half an hour, you see Your whole life becomes bump. And uh, You've got to be very careful because yourself So, uh, she settled in care. They're very, very nice. Care, which I could walk to actually. Then, just before the 2nd lockdown arrives, Right out of the blue she started Personal care. That they didn't have, she needed medication. Oh I said to her earlier on, she was known as the tiger when she first arrived. stop You do all your personal care. So used to say to me, we call it the Tiger, when she sleeps, she very beautiful. a human struggle target. Who could tell you So there she is, she's uh she's in nursing care still. says she's totally Yeah, I'll I'll feed her. over Occasionally, some days she's like. Us Have any contact with But most times No Occasionally son and my daughter wants Yes that's put you up again. I think She attempts to forget Yes. We're done. Little glimpses every now and again, some of those. Which everything Oh, she declined. It was very rapid. She lost to use a kettle, I bought a new kettle. Anything new was cat She would switch it on, she would not put water. No So that's, I said what you do. Lose a skill. S. sit up. Once the girl's gone, it's got So the skills just sort of slowly disappeared and I did a A few years' training course, I would offer Not by your by your watch. fully trained. But uh Uh, so, and then of course you said things like incontinence. Oh Fabulous woman. if she I yes described it fabulous. Lovely personality. Friends How, how intelligent You know when people talk about you Exercise your brain to try and Not get Alzheimer's and not get dementia. good person, I only speak from my own experience. I suspect They tried the hardest Use the bread. And if you look around as well. Political divide, you could say people like Harold Wilson. Labour Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, Ronald People, whatever The publish, use the braids. Dementia. Hopefully we'll get to Yeah Yes, uh, well, there's no point pretending it doesn't change. Changes the dynamics and changes the relationship. So Anne's been diagnosed for 11 years now. The first said the 1st 60 years. slow slow decline. all But once you started to deal with I also for You've lost that conversation Degraded, yes. Did you have Yes, you had the HK. Very good. They, they look after it for. But uh, yeah. to walk up to me. It Play So Yes, typical day if I could. Going to do is, uh Yeah. Dressing washing. shows Right Walk-in shower It Uh. And strange enough she was OK with all Bearing in mind what a sort of Proud, fabulous woman she was. She accepted all. D Yeah, it would be great, yeah. And then, uh, out Uh, Corresponded to begin with. of too, too risky. you finish your More or less Carers got was trapped as well as the We never, I never had any So I was wrong once or twice. She got very, very frustrated. Generally speaking Issues I love Well, You're losing your wife. Your best friend. You, you, you know, you're losing. Bit by bit, slowly, slowly, slow. And there's nothing you can do about it. The whole, the whole. Last decade the biggest Single Issue Can't. All I can do is be alongside. And health. Be there right Can't Um. very it. Who. Yes, so you do feel that it's uh. of a of a sense of And a stress, there's no point pretending. Of course, I would say most people with us. But I was just thinking yesterday. it's like So I did, I did home. I watch cricket So. Just got to be kind to yourself. Have a day off But it is that sense of Against And they and they're disappearing, so they can't help you with it. Normally I would have talked that Your thoughts with them. those of you Yes, I'm not. Because I realised Got to realise that 5 years of Alzheimer's is a bit broad. Oh well. And uh, Especially if it's something That hurts Be Whoever's caring for You've got to accept that, that be a bit kind on yourself sometimes. spoil. If you're in a situation where, as I said, I'm fortunately I'm not financial can't I could spend some money and relieve that. I've got a good family. Friends. So Yes, I would think so, but especially. I mean, I'm, I'm 80 this this year. It's so You don't Don't feel, I don't feel achy. And uh, But people look at you Whether you like it or not. Pushed aside, you know, is important. That's life. 6 for 63, yeah. To not To be honest, yes, to be honest, to be honest, if I'm honest, uh, I, I know, I've had. Service from Generally Then the other probably 5 rows. Various skin cancer Uh, I can't say anything else. I had one experience, by the way. Strange I'd just been here. uh I went next door the following day. An appointment, something had gone wrong with this appoint. There's expected wait in this room. This young it. Talk to you about some of the He never gave me his name. He never introduced himself to me, never. And then he went out and brought a consultant in. His consultant. name either. And I was actually I was quite annoyed at myself for letting that happen to me, uh, you know, I should have stopped the whole process and said. By the way, I'm Brian. Who are you? Yeah, I was quite, uh, I got used to the educators programme and I got used to how people are generally. It quite surprised me that reminded you've been back in. 2 There's what we want before keyhole surgery. And I used to come to Halockshire. It was just sit in this room about 20 people in this room. Uh, everybody had a 2 o'clock appointment. There was no, you said what time are you 2 o'clock everybody had the consultant was in his, in his lair and eventually you just got called in and got looked up. There's no sort of connection with Nowadays it is German. Treating people as Individuals person responds to the treatment or respond to the whole thing. You don't treat them as an individual, you might not hear some very, very Don't feel comfortable To part Come on, no, it's uh Pulmonary fibrosis. OK. No, Yeah, Yes, yes Yeah, I don't know but now, I mean which Well, just Uh, I have experience from Anne's first diagnosis. The diagnosis I thought was, was 2. Two br Shouldn't be even even if you had, even if it has to be broken. Then there should have been a little bit of counselling afterwards, a little bit of somebody put their arm around you in a sense, me and her, uh, and talking about positive. And there wasn't. It was sort of He's your bucket of the fish Um, so that, but that was that one occasion. Beyond that. Particularly during the took trouser trousers on. first class Excellent. Now, I think I suspect from what I hear, people told me. Because there's more of it around and more people. Don't think I country better Diagnosis Uh, the important thing. Slightly move from the medical side, but Yeah Winter January to March Figured out how the whole system works. The system, the NHS system. Cou Care, payment of care. Complex world. It's really handy if you know, and I thought it was really it was really brilliant. That was the UK's Download Break the cheeks They want everything and they're very, very active. It's very handy to be in a situation where you're dealing with social services. For No to It Anything can happen to you. You don't think that you and obviously you've got to go through life thinking. This one. That Suddenly your life can suddenly just be changed. Happens to lots and lots of people Their life was going fine. Got to tell them something. I That they knew You like Stop. An acceptance of that, that's Uh, Time off for yourself and also going back to what I said, find out information yourself. So that Make sure you ask people like yourselves the right questions, not being, you don't have to be forceful, you've aggressive Just Good. Let people know that you're not gonna let the system roll you over. you It's like financial things are discovered. If you, if you will. his body. Rightfully so, you know, that's, then they're going to come for it. They're not going to come for it next week or next moment that it's due, it's their back. But if on the other hand, there is a benefit, That entitled to, don't be one of these people think, oh. You need to get something that redress the balance because From home care. Home care never really particularly worked for us. Well, because, uh, We've both from the intrusion of having awakeness. People, he never managed to Oh I didn't particularly We Little bit of respite. Uh, I think I spent most of the time feeling not very guilty that. Didn't get that. I was a bit puzzled by it all. Uh Then she went into a, into a very nice care hall. That was very good to begin with, but she became steadily too much for a care home. Difference between what a nursing home to a full time nurse available. S Drugs They couldn't And really it was There was a care home for People that didn't have significant conditions. Oh just, oh. Uh, Go into the nursing home. Other than the fact she had to go into a EMI wards, EMI officer, elderly mentally infirm, which are the worst case scenarios. You got some, you got some serious cases. Uh, That uh But she had to go into one of those, because she was Uh, The nursing home was excellent. She settled very, very I have to say, by the way, I've Can't be anything other than to be Full of praise for care. Mostly cursed stuff. In any home you go to this matter what you pay. Philippines place in Africa. Come from You notice there's a whole mishmash, there's some But generally I can say quite honestly. Just in Cases in there. you that Re This do That to stop them doing some Beyond that, Yeah It's a wonderful paper I What the I just got, got quite used to it. the honest answer that the honest answer is nothing. Nothing jumping to mind. So the answer is no, I don't think there's, I've never felt that. There was one occasion when she, uh, collapsed in the middle of the night when she was in a Just in the nursing home, not not in nursing care in the care home. And uh that was fun. The ambulanced into She lost consciousness. I went there about 3 in the morning, her eyes were rolling back. I looked. it To the Northern general. emergency. We were there till. and it's not. Mr. Crem, we're going to move. What You look exhausted. You Go get yourself up, get some sleep. across Oh, he was a Which I did. What a run. Actually you are. Who told me that That she, I said, well she's gone well. This is the watch was supposed to have gone through. Old woman had never heard of Mrs. C, and she was She wasn't there. So Iran a few times and I couldn't get any So you said this. That This is somebody that's a very vulnerable person. If you've got this, this is somebody with Alzheimer's, you appear to have lost them. you must have Following or dealing with a vulnerable person where you write it down where who's seen and where they're going. I said I'm getting a car now, I want to come over, I want to see that. Well, obviously that. Cut a long story short, she'd just been bumped and placed into the The discharge I think to get her just off the ward to meet a certain target, I suspect. Because she was just in this, she just sat there on her own. She wouldn't say anything. Which was supposed to be good is With the ward, and when she went into the ward she got excellent service there. That's one of the few occasions Generally speaking service The GP's been excellent. I Deserves GPs, but I can't see any other. But I have a funny feeling. Well, it's because Fibrosis is classified as a term. Whether I've got some sort of little Star of mine because whenever I rang up and say, can I have an appointment to get one that day, uh, which is always surprises me but uh no, the GP's been excellent. you have to. And very important. I did have one period. Lockdown was And I've always considered myself But I And I always thought when people talk about anxiety, you just felt a bit more anxious. This one. This took over my whole being, my whole brain. Completely lost the plot. And I walked away with that. I've had kidney stones and I've had gallstones, which are both painful. I'll have both of them together. Then I would have mental anguish. Mental anguish was the worst. I've ever suffered and it had no rationale at all. I've lost all that. rationality And that again, the GP was Excellent as well. group that did the cognitive therapy over the phone. And luckily I got the other side of that. Just occasionally. Night. I'll just get a glimpse of the fact that it's still lurking. No doubt by virtue of the fact that the All this Tissue just reminds me. Yeah Very Very, I'm very wary of that. I was yeah I was I was completely suicidal. Um So there wasn't there was. uh. Mind's looking, you're looking for a way out. Simple as that. There is no way out from this thing that's gripped your mind. uh And uh And that's the way out. They At that time in the world that you're in. That's the way out, the only way out. Uh, So. I mean, I had some some serious, serious drugs. Didn't cure you, but they gave you a break from it. And slowly, I think the coming there's a couple of Stuffed as it may have seemed, because it all started very simply with Uh I got a Insurance request for this little cottage. Um. doing with the gas. And I went from that to my mind deciding I was going to blow the whole place up, blow the farmhouse next door to them. The children were all going to be killed and burnt to death. It was all going to be my fault. I just went catastrophically down this. one of a thing called Worry time. Really not worry. Stop it. Give yourself Set a time for the next day because. 10 tomorrow morning, I'm going to give myself a full hour. Vertigo, there's salt is out there.